How do them Yankees get around?

A colleague (a Southerner) was kind enough to pen a little ditty for us Yankees to help us through the storm. I offer a paltry reply from a brain too tired from watching the beautiful snowflakes back:

Our southern colleagues, they did ponder:
How do them Yankees get around up yonder?

I can tell you’ll want to know,
It all depends on the depth of the snow.

(First, below an inch – that’s a cinch:
it’s too small an amount
to bother about; that doesn’t even count.)
Three to four,
now that is more
noticeable outside the door.

Five or six inches seen when on the roam -
that’s when people start getting back to their homes.

Six to twelve is fine for today –
working at home with our kids in the way.
But tomorrow our backs will swell
after shoveling it all up the hill.

Into the feet is where *this* storm’s headed,
and that’s where the less intrepid start to dread it.
At this level there are neighborly teenagers galore,
Who for a fee, will shovel up to your door!
This weekend’s to win some sledding prizes
Until next week, as it melts when the temperature rises.

But the most important moral of my story:
In our winter, snow tires are mandatory.

Shorts Alert – color: white

Just a friendly warning to Cambridge residents today that I am wearing shorts today, just in case some of you are the type to be offended. Either of men wearing shorts in the winter – some, I believe feel it’s un-Yankee – or of wearing white after labor day. I never bought into the no white after labor day in any case.

I will freely admit that my M.T.F.S. – Minimum Temperature For Shorts – has risen with my age. In college, it was around 40°F. Several years after that, I realized that as much as I love shorts, my M.T.F.S. had risen to about 50°F, since that was comfortable, and I didn’t need to prove anything else. Now as I have a child, I’ve realized I’ve let my M.T.F.S. slip into the mid-50′s, just out of practicality.

This is not at all to detract from the highly respected French Toast Alert, popularized by Universal Hub, which Adam has properly set to today’s level: Low. Rather, this is more of a style warning system, applying more to social situations, rather than being a warning about shopping situations (and potential riots when the alert goes to high and there are stampedes for milk, eggs, and bread).

This is really a chance to recognize those hearty souls who prefer the freedom of shorts. This also goes out to the old Lotus 1-2-3 team’s build lab staff, all of whom wore shorts. Especially one who admitted that he occasionally put on wind pants – but only when shoveling more than a foot of snow. And to a new friend we’ve discovered through daycare – hi Sam!

I’m also wearing a bright green sweater, too. Hee hee hee.