The Ol’Wizard needs your wit and wisdom

My father – the self-styled Ol’Wizard – passed away over a year ago, and there’s been a lot of paperwork clearing up the estate. He also chose to bequest some funds for a few local charities in his estate plan, which I’m working on disbursing now. He wanted to both be remembered, and to help out both people and animals: in the first case, journalism students and Coast Guard sailors; in the second case, cats at a pair of local animal shelters.

Here’s where I need your help. In each case, the gift is at a level where I am offered a small sign or plaque to commemorate his gift. I need your help, dear readers, to come up with some witty sayings or words of wisdom from the Ol’Wiz to pass on his message from the beyond.

The first assignment is a set of short messages for the Northeast Animal Shelter, where dad’s donation covers the cost of several sets of cat and kitten cages in this great no-kill shelter. I’ve already arranged to sponsor two sets of cages: for the cats, three cages in a row on the top shelf, and then two cages in a row immediately below them. Similarly, there are four kitten cages grouped together.

As my father was fond of witty sayings, I was hoping to come up with a pair of short “stories” or Burma Shave-like quotes that would fit on these small plaques in order. Since the cages sponsored are right next to each other, I think this would also be memorable for people looking for just the right shelter cat (or kitten) to bring home.

Each of these plaques is a small plastic sign, hung at the top of the cage. Most of the other cages that are claimed have text like “In memoriam, with much love from our dear father John Doe” or the like. It seems like we could have either two lines of reasonable sized text (somewhat short), or three lines of somewhat smaller font on each plaque.

What say you, friends of the Wizard passed? Any good turns of phrase, or anything you can imagine Ol’Wiz exhorting some humans come to do the good deed of adding a shelter cat to their home?

Similarly, we have also sponsored a bench (to be placed outdoors, probably by the intake area for people dropping off animals) with a very slightly larger plaque, either three or possibly four lines of text depending on how the shelter prints the signs. Any ideas for an outdoor sign?

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